Greetings and Introductions
In the Netherlands, a firm handshake with eye contact is the standard greeting when you meet someone for the first time, in both social and business settings. People usually say their own first name, or first and last name, as they shake hands. Among friends and family, three kisses on alternating cheeks is traditional, though many younger people now use a single kiss or a hug, and a handshake is always acceptable from a visitor.
At birthday parties, it is customary to congratulate not only the person whose birthday it is but also their family members ("Gefeliciteerd met je moeder!"). When entering a small shop or a doctor's waiting room, a general "goedemorgen" or "goedemiddag" is polite.
Directness Is Not Rudeness
The Dutch are known for speaking plainly. People tend to say what they think, give honest opinions when asked, and decline invitations without long excuses. For visitors from more indirect cultures this can feel blunt, but it is not meant as an insult. It is generally considered more respectful to be clear than to be vague.
The flip side is that you can be direct too. If you disagree, say so politely and explain why. Excessive flattery or exaggerated enthusiasm can come across as insincere. A common saying sums up the attitude: "Doe maar normaal, dan doe je al gek genoeg" (just act normal, that's crazy enough).
Punctuality and Planning
Being on time matters, for business meetings and for social invitations alike. If you are invited for dinner at 18:00, arrive at 18:00, or let your hosts know if you are running late. Many Dutch people plan social life well ahead with diaries, so spontaneous visits to someone's home are less common than in some cultures. Restaurants and popular attractions often require reservations or timed tickets.
Eating, Drinking and Paying
- Dinner is early. Many Dutch households eat around 18:00, and restaurant kitchens in smaller towns may close by 21:30 or 22:00.
- Lunch is simple. Often bread with cheese or ham, perhaps soup. Do not expect a large hot lunch.
- Splitting the bill is normal among friends and colleagues; each person pays for what they had, or the total is divided equally. Do not assume the person who invited you will pay unless they say so.
- Tipping is not obligatory, as service is included. Rounding up or leaving around 5 to 10 percent for good service in restaurants is appreciated.
- Cards are standard. Debit cards and contactless payment are accepted almost everywhere, and some shops and cafés no longer accept cash. A few smaller places do not take credit cards, so carry a debit card if you can.
- Coffee at home may come with one biscuit offered from the tin. It is a cliché, but not entirely untrue; do not be offended if the tin goes back in the cupboard.
On the Street, on Bikes and on Trains
- Stay off bike paths. Red-surfaced paths with bicycle symbols are for cyclists, who travel fast. Walking on them is the most common tourist mistake and annoys locals. Look both ways before stepping onto one.
- If you cycle, keep right, signal turns and do not stop suddenly in the middle of the path.
- Queue properly. In shops, markets and bakeries, people often take a numbered ticket from a dispenser and wait to be called.
- Respect residential areas. In Amsterdam and other cities, keep noise down at night in neighbourhoods where people live.
- On public transport, check in and out with your card at the start and end of each journey.
- Quiet carriages (stiltecoupés) on trains are marked; phone calls and loud conversations are not welcome there.
- Let people off first before boarding trams and trains, and offer seats to elderly or disabled passengers.
Visiting Someone's Home
If you are invited to a Dutch home, bring a small gift such as flowers, chocolates or a bottle of wine. Shake hands with everyone present on arrival and departure. Conversation over drinks before dinner is relaxed, but guests are expected to leave at a reasonable hour unless the hosts clearly want the evening to continue.
A Few Rules Worth Knowing
- Smoking is banned inside cafés, bars and restaurants.
- Cannabis is tolerated in licensed coffeeshops, but Amsterdam bans smoking it in public in the Red Light District, and some other cities restrict it further.
- Sunday opening varies. Larger cities have Sunday shopping, but in smaller and more religious towns many shops stay closed.
Above all, a little effort goes a long way. Most Dutch people speak excellent English, but a "dank je wel" (thank you) or "alstublieft" (please, or here you are) is always appreciated.
